Port Angeles

"'I'm taking you to dinner.' He smiled slightly, but his eyes were hard. He stepped out of the car and slammed the door. I fumbled with my seat belt, and then hurried to get out of the car as well. He was waiting for me on the sidewalk."

If I had to choose one chapter that pretty much summarizes what Twilight is all about so far, it would be Chapter 8. It's got it all: Bella's good mood decimated by the most ludicrous rumor, Bella complaining about her friends jibber-jabber, a poorly written chase set-piece, Edward's continued mental abuse of Bella, and another soul-tranquilizing Bedward conversation.

But at least we're getting somewhere now. Twilight's famous (or infamous, depending on your sex) for it's star-crossed romance, and it's nice to see these two finally start truly obsessing over each other. I guess.

I say that because, well, the whole thing is actually just kind of creepy. When Bella goes on a day trip with her "friends" and gets into a bit of trouble, Eddie's there to save her. Again. Which would be fine and dandy if it weren't for the fact that HE FUCKING FOLLOWED HER THERE WITHOUT HER KNOWING. You know what that's called in the real world? Stalking.

Not only does he stalk her, but he rescues her from a dangerous situation and then puts her in an even more dangerous situation. She's being followed by four dudes through back alleys in the town of Port Angeles, and Bella's sixth sense tells her they want to do more than ask her to the next Sun O))) show. Then, just as the guys are about to audition her for their stage tour of The Accused, Ed comes by in his shiny silver Volvo, tells her to get in, then speeds down the street "blowing through stop signs without a pause." Nice, Ed's. You might be able to survive a 60 mile an hour crash, but B-Swan certainly wouldn't, and neither would a family of 5 in a minivan crossing one of those intersections you just blindly blow-through. I know you're pissed off because someone almost tapped that before you got your cold, creepy hands on it, but unless those dudes are the spawn of Usain Bolt, I'm pretty sure you have the advantage, seeing as you're in a car and all.

After impersonating Cole Trickle (and admitting to an anger management issues; "Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella), Edward decides that he's going to force Bella to eat dinner. (Nothing makes a girl hungrier than near-rape, Eddie, good job!). And I mean force. It's clear that Edward will not let Bella make decisions for herself, he will tell her what to do. But Swanson's too distracted by her saviour's smoldering good looks and silky DJ voice to realize she's being manipulated by a guy who almost showed her what it felt like to be Princess Diana.

I think I see where this is going, kiddies. And I don't quite know if I like it.