Complications

"...I was suddenly hyperaware that Edward was sitting less than an inch from me. I was stunned by the unexpected electricity that flowed through me, amazed that it was possible to be more aware of him than I already was. A crazy impulse to reach over and touch him, to stroke his perfect face just once in the darkness, nearly overwhelmed me. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, my hands balling into fists. I was losing my mind."

"You're not in the target demographic." "It's not your cup of tea." "You've never been in love/don't have a shitty love life/don't know what love is."

These are three of the main criticisms I've received since starting this blog, all in response to my (so far) genuine dislike of Twilight. I think, since again nothing happens in this chapter (seriously, Bedward converse, then Eddie gets mad at Jacob for parking in Bella's driveway, then the chapter ends), I should address these criticisms and why, well, none of them matter.

1) I'm not in the target demographic.

You know what, Twilight lover, you're right. I'm not. Guilty as charged. "A" for knowing your facts. Too bad your criticism is flimsier than the cardboard cut-out of Peter Facinelli you have in your room. J.K. Rowling doesn't write books for 29 year old straight males either, but I somehow blew through the first four Harry Potter novels in 4 weeks and then picked up each successive one on their respective release dates afterwards. Pixar didn't really market Up* to anyone over the age of 16, yet I found it to be one of the most moving films of the year. With just those two examples I've destroyed your argument. Good literature (and all art, by extension), transcends sex, age, class, race, background, etc. It does not matter that Twilight's main audience is made up of 13-20 year old females who dig dudes that wear mascera, I should be able to appreciate it and enjoy it on some level, whether it be sharp writing, deep characterization, vivid description, or something else.

Here's a third example to stomp your "not the target demographic" criticism into the ground: I saw Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds, a film tailor made for testosterone pumping males 18-35, more than once in a theater full of people made up of all ages and sexes. Each time I saw it the movie killed. The audience laughed, gasped, cheered, and left the theater buzzing with every showing. Although he had crafted a movie geared towards a specific type of audience, Tarantino was able to reach and entertain a broader group.


2) It's not my cup of tea.

Folks, I know most of you don't work with me, but those of you that do, you know I drink tea. A lot of tea. A lot of many different kinds of tea. Put a teabag in front of me (I should not have said that) and I'll put it in my cup, pour some hot water on it, and try it. I also like a lot of these different kinds of tea. Not all, but most. My point is that I'm not a person that subscribes or only likes one kind of tea or even two kinds. My tastes span a variety of tea leaves, tea companies, tea times, tea colors, tea smells, tea flavors. If I like a tea, I'll say so. Even if it's a kind I normally wouldn't try.

3) I've never been in love/have a shitty love life/don't know what love is.

I've heard various forms of the above argument recently both directed at myself and, whilst perusing Twilight message-boards, other persons critical of the series. Personally, I find it flagrantly offensive and ignorant.

It shouldn't have to be said, but apparently needs to be: one shouldn't even have to believe or even understand what the word love is to like or even appreciate Edward and Bella's story. I don't believe that a creature from outerspace can impregnate a crewmember of a commercial mining space vessel, yet Alien is my favorite film. I've never experienced toys coming to life and fighting over who their owner's favorite is, yet I'm totally down with Toy Story. I don't have a past I'm trying to leave behind in order to start a fresh one in another part of the country, but I empathize with Viggo Mortensen's Tom Stall in A History of Violence. Belief or experience of the subject involved should not be a prerequisite for enjoying, undestanding, comprehending, and respecting a story.

And lastly, to suggest that because I (or anyone else) find little to like about this one book then I have never experienced love or have had a "shitty" love life is about as insulting a statement as I can think of. I know you'll find this hard to believe, Twilight lover, but I know what great love feels like and have experienced all of it's ups and downs: been awed by it, disappointed by it, shamed by it, humbled by it, uplifted by it, grounded by it, left lonely by it, felt surrounded by it, laughed because of it, cried because I lost it, hated it, loved it, wished I never had it, thanked God I found it, was scared of it, became brave when around it, and grew to be a better person because of it.

So I have felt true love, folks, and whatever it is Edward and Bella have? That ain't true love. And the fact that I just had to explain that all to you, Twilight lover, means that perhaps you have never been in love, or experienced love, or even know what love is.



*Up (a kids movie) has more to say about finding true love that lasts a lifetime in its first (silent) 10 minutes than anything found in the first 230 pages of Twilight.